a world without you
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: Two years later, Sora is still looking for Riku. Will he truly find him? (Note: shounen ai and rating due mature situations.)


Disclaimer: Squaresoft and Disney own Kingdom Hearts. I'm just a Sora and Riku and Cloud and Sephiroth lover.  
  
A world without you.  
  
By miyamoto yui  
  
"We need to go back to Traverse Town."  
  
The wind blew at some random beach that they had temporarily settled upon because they needed a breather. Goofy and Donald thought it would be best for Sora to walk on a beach since he had said he used to go there when he was little.  
  
Now, all it brought back to Sora were terrible memories, but he couldn't say that to anyone.  
  
Memories that he couldn't live without,   
  
yet they killed him inside every time he thought about them.  
  
He breathed the fresh air, but the world seemed too calm now.  
  
"A world without you..." a soft voice said through the wind.  
  
"Huh?" Sora looked from side to side as Goofy and Donald looked at him strangely.  
  
Donald shrugged his shoulders. "Why do you want to go there?"  
  
"I have a feeling that I should go there," was all Sora could answer as his eyes wandered to find where the voice had come from.  
  
Goofy nodded his head and saluted Sora with a laugh. "Alrighty then, Sora!"  
  
As they left the island and traveled to Traverse Town, all Sora could think of was Riku.   
  
"Come..." Riku had said while holding out his hand calmly towards him while the darkness was enveloping his body.  
  
Sora reached out and their fingertips touched, but he wasn't able to grab onto Riku.  
  
"We'll always be together," he had said to him while they were sitting on Riku's favorite paopu tree. "That's what we promised each other."  
  
"How about if that can't happen, Sora? Ever wonder about that?" Riku asked while glancing at Sora.   
  
Sora shook his head. "I never doubted it."  
  
Riku's eyes became a little wide as he tilted his head at Sora. He laughed as he scruffed at Sora's soft hair while feeling it between his fingers, despite it looking all prickly and pointy. "Your cheerfulness sometimes makes me sick."  
  
At that moment, Sora stuck out his tongue at him. Then, he cutely pouted.  
  
"Ah, you know what I mean." Riku teased him while pushing Sora's shoulder. "I challenge you!"  
  
Sora sighed while looking out of the window of the gummi ship. "Riku, where are you?"  
  
At least Kairi's safe...  
  
Now to find Riku...  
  
"Sora..." Donald tried to say, but he looked at Goofy and they both shook their heads. They knew better than to bother him now. The policy of no frowning would be broken for the moment.  
  
***  
  
When they got to Traverse Town, they settled in an inn. As Donald and Goofy went to their rooms, they saw Sora coming out of his.  
  
"Where are you going?" Donald asked while folding his arms together.  
  
"Gawsh, Sora, it's awfully late. Go to bed, okay?" Goofy patted his shoulder as Sora shook his head.  
  
"We're here to protect you, so please stay in your room," Donald pleaded.  
  
Sora sighed as he went back into his room.  
  
"Good night," they all said to each other.  
  
But as soon as Sora closed his door, he leaned his back on it and sighed while looking up to the ceiling. "Staying in the room makes me think too much."  
  
Then, he went over to the balcony and looked at the quiet, dimly lit alleyway before him. When he lifted his head, he could see so many lights and people through their windows, laughing and talking.  
  
Pretty much, they were getting on with their lives.  
  
And here he was stuck traveling.   
  
"Why am I looking for you?" he asked himself as he shook his head. "I should just let it go because you've chosen your path and I've chosen mine."  
  
That's the way things should be...  
  
But I can't give up.  
  
That was one thing I was always proud of myself for.  
  
He glanced over at the keyblade on top of his bed and then back at the alleyway.   
  
"I'm sorry." Glancing towards the direction of Goofy's and Donald's rooms, he jumped down onto the alleyway.   
  
Sora ran with sweat and tears coming down his face as he tried to find the place where he had seen Riku in this town. When he found it, he tried to reenact the whole situation inside of his head.  
  
"If I could have done something different, would it have made a difference?" he asked himself softly as the wind blew around him.  
  
"I shouldn't think this way, though," he thought to himself. "It will make me doubt again."  
  
His heart would be filled with darkness once more if the did that...  
  
He continued to stare at the spot where Riku had been two years ago. Two years ago, he was naïve to think that all he had to do was find his friends Kairi and Riku and then the adventure would be over.  
  
It wasn't though.  
  
It would continue as long as he believed in Riku...  
  
…and in himself to find him.  
  
In a moment of insanity, he kneeled one knee to the stony ground and touched the ground with his white gloves. Gloves that stayed purely white though he knew they surely should have been tainted and stained by the cruelty of the world.  
  
As he got up, Sora looked around.  
  
"A world without you..." he said to himself as he turned to go back to his room.  
  
It was a strange thing. How could you live and yet not be in the same world as the ones you cared for? Was that the same as death in itself?  
  
What disturbed him more was that dream he had the night before. It was about Kairi...  
  
For some reason, they were on the island and Sora said he had to go home. Kairi, on the other hand, weirdly didn't want him to go or leave her.  
  
She became upset as she asked him, "Why...why do you have to go?"  
  
"I have to find Riku," he told her plainly. She knew exactly why he had to leave and this question was getting a bit repetitive.  
  
"He made a choice. You can't be responsible for that!" she shouted with all her heart as she ran to him and embraced him from behind. "Stop hurting yourself, Sora. Stop it..."  
  
His head hung on his shoulders as he stared at the hands gripping one another trying to keep him from going. He didn't know what to say.  
  
"You love Riku. That's it, isn't it?"  
  
"Of course I love him," he replied with a smile, trying to be like he used to be. "We're all fri-"  
  
Kairi pushed him away from her as she shook her head. "Why can't you tell yourself the truth?"  
  
Her eyes were full of tears.  
  
A shiver went down his heart as he looked up at the balcony he had to get back up to. As he jumped and flipped back silently onto it, he went into the room and pulled the heavy curtains to block out any light. He then put the keyblade under the bed, wishing not to see it for the time being.   
  
Taking off his shoes and gloves, he just reclined onto the bed and stared above him even though everything around him was in total darkness.  
  
"Why can't you tell yourself the truth?" her voice repeated inside of his mind while her tear-strained face couldn't be erased.  
  
"I didn't realize it until he went away, Kairi," he told himself while the silence drove him nuts only echoing back his desparate whisper.  
  
He then turned over to one side as his chest began to ache inside of him.  
  
"Sora..." a voice said through the darkness.  
  
Sora became worried as his eyes opened widely in slight fear, but more in confusion. "Who's there?" he whispered to no particular direction.  
  
"It's me," the familiar voice replied with a smile in its tone.  
  
"Riku?" Sora's eyes searched through the darkness, trying to comprehend if he was already sleeping or was he awake. If he was, had he gone delusional?  
  
At that moment, he could feel Riku's knees on the bed to each side of him.   
  
"Close your eyes, it's the same thing," Riku instructed sadly as he touched Sora's shoulder and pulled on it so that Sora would be lying on his back facing him.   
  
Sora closed his eyes but there were so many questions going through his mind, but he couldn't say anything.   
  
"You brought me here temporarily," Riku said to ease his mind as he ran his fingers through Sora's hair. "It was the power of your will."  
  
Sora could feel Riku moving the bed as he leaned forward to whisper into his ear, but Riku's hair was tickling his neck as well.   
  
It didn't make any sense, and yet it was.  
  
"You can't be here. You chose the darkness, Riku," Sora said as he reached out to grab Riku's shoulders.   
  
He could feel him...  
  
"But you chose me..." Riku answered as his hands tried to search for Sora's ungloved ones. "...and by doing that, isn't that the same?"  
  
At that moment, Riku began to kiss Sora's neck and Sora became scared as he asked, "What are you doing?"  
  
"Sora, you know exactly what I'm doing," he commented with a tone of annoyance. "I was the one who gave you the paopu fruit first..."  
  
"What?" Sora said as Riku began to grip his fingers while continuing to kiss him. "What does that have to do with anything?"  
  
"No matter what you say, I'm bound to you as you are bound to me," Riku said matter-of-factly with a smirk in his voice.   
  
Riku then stopped kissing his neck and kissed his lips passionately while a confused Sora couldn't resist him because he had looked for him for so long...  
  
Out of breath from the kiss, Sora asked, "I thought all that time you liked Kairi...and I did too..."  
  
"We deceived each other...like we are doing now..." His hand went up Sora's shirt trying to undress him while one of Sora's hands touched Riku's chest making sure he was real...  
  
"I still believe in you, Riku," Sora whispered before closing his eyes tightly in pain as Riku made love to him while trying to not make a sound. Grabbing onto Riku, Riku kissed him even harder so that there was only a murmur of sound.  
  
"I know you do," the silver-haired boy answered back breathlessly. "That's why I'm waiting for you."  
  
"You are?" Sora asked as he collapsed onto the bed while Riku nuzzled his lips onto Sora's neck while pulling his body towards him and the covers with it.  
  
"A person has two sides as well, Sora. You know this," he whispered quietly into his ear. "You choose the reality you see in both of them."  
  
"I don't understand what you're trying to say to me."   
  
"Even if I'm like this, Sora, do you still think I'm the same? Would you want me any differently? Who are you really searching for Sora? The me you lost or the me you'll find? Even if you're disappointed?"  
  
Sora shook his head with a determined air. "It doesn't matter. To me, Riku is Riku."  
  
"That's why you're the keyblade master, Sora..." he said with a smile on his face. "That's why I admired you..."  
  
"That's why I love you in return..." Riku continued as he pulled Sora even closer to him. "Goodbye and I'll see you later then."  
  
Grabbing Riku's arms, he shook his head. "No, don't leave me all over again."  
  
"It's only a matter of time now, Sora. That, I know now." Riku touched Sora's cheek. "Open your eyes."  
  
Suddenly, Sora found himself looking at the ceiling above him. As he turned his head tiredly towards the curtains, he found that they were flowing, revealing that it was already dawn.  
  
"Riku?" he asked himself as he sat up to find himself unclothed and Riku's black gloves on the floor. The one's he used to wear back on their childhood island.  
  
When he ate breakfast with Goofy and Donald that morning, Donald blinked his eyes as he looked intently at Sora's hands. "Where did you get those?"  
  
He couldn't quite place where he had seen them before. Besides, they couldn't be from where he thought they were from since it'd be impossible in the first place.  
  
"I found them," Sora said innocently while biting into his sandwich.  
  
"They're pretty cool," Goofy commented while eating his porridge.   
  
"Let's go back to the palace." Sora said with a smile on his face. "There's something I have to see again."  
  
"But I thought you wanted to look through Traverse Town?" Donald asked with confusion printed all over his face.  
  
"I found what I was looking for already," Sora answered with an even wider smile.   
  
Through the high window of the café overlooking the street, he looked at the spot where Riku had been two years ago.   
  
"It's only a matter of time now, Sora. That, I know now," he remembered Riku saying to him just last night.  
  
That's why I chose you, Riku.  
  
You always believed in me too.  
  
And...  
  
No matter how many times I've tried...  
  
I could _never_ imagine a world without you...  
  
Owari.  
  
--  
  
Author's note: Thanks for voting guys! ^_^ It's quite funny that I was thinking of doing this fic since my internet wasn't working and I was sick. Since I couldn't do my homework, I thought I'd just do a kingdom hearts fic and then I thought, "Oh yeah, that's what they wanted too." * lol * Well, I tried to make it cute. Sorry that it's still angst, but it's 'happy' with all the fangirl impulses. ^^;;;;; (Did that really make up for anything, I wonder...)  
  
I made this fic because I'm actually very nuts about Sora. Though I take things from Riku's POV, I like Sora a lot. But, I've learned to love Riku just as much 'cause he's just so cool! On a serious note, I just felt that the shounen ai content was really driving nuts (like Tokyo Babylon) and I needed this. 


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